it's 11:29pm and i should be asleep right now because it's graduation night but it's graduation night and i should be up at 6am to shower and do my hair at 6:30 and it's fun and happy and i didn't feel anythign when i put on the gown i thought someone else was graduating sayed or someone it cant be me and i forgot or didn't realize graduation's tomorrow and i feel like i'm not taking full control of the situation and feeling it fully and i'm going to regret that but right now today was so much fun with the rest i have a good group of friends in the room upstairs we were all chatting and laughing and loud while everyone else wasn't we're a good group of friends and rehearsal was fun made me actual look forward to tomorrow and while i was leaving it finally hit me and i felt like crying really crying but i didn't i hope it hits me tomorow even though i'll cry but i'll finally get to feel SOMETHING. didn't feel anything i'm so tired and i'm happy mama helped me with everything and we chose yellow and blue and now i'm excited and happy and hopefully tomorrow will be good and fun